Monday, February 1, 2010

Different Types of Programmers

I copied this from someone else but forgot where...

The Elite / MVP (Most Valuable Programmer) – They are the best. The last line of defense when the critical-dead line of a project must be done. They are the untouchable. If you are 10 on the group, he done almost 70% of the job. He is much better than your team leader, best than the seniors. The right man for the job. Even though in personal life, he got the style.

The Copy-Paste Programmer – These individual proves that the google serves us well especially on our careers. He can give you solution in less than a minute with a variety of more than 20 selections. We called it “The Search Engine Professionals.” They are the experts in browsing the web. Copy the code, paste the code, edit the code, and compile the code.

Undercover Programmer – Free MP3(s), music video, hentai access codes, etc… name it! They got it all! Spending more time in their cubicles searching for free downloadable music for his MP3 player. Half of his working time setting up a bot on Ragnarok Online. Inviting friends on friendster or perhaps, muting the speaker so that the sound of the “Bang Bus” wouldn’t be heard.  Spend more time seeking for the light than coding. But take note, these guys can surely give you anything you need when the demon inside you whispers.

The “Lord Of Codes” – These multi-talented developers are inhabited on the so-called “crisis” here in the Philippines. They are also experts in software marketing. From selling codes to client trading. They earned the unimaginable. They are the big time.  They don’t need plaques or awards. They are well armed and aiming for the gold!

The Remora – In ecology subject way back on our high school days… the remora is the fish that stays and eats the leftover of the shark. These programmers are very similar to the remora, they are earning as much as you do. But believe it or not, they spent almost a year on the company without enough knowledge on programming aspect. In a team, he is the worst in coding. He lets the other do the job. He is visible to the eye and yet invisible when it comes to presence of team developing.

The Unleashed – This person is not a programmer or a developer. These people are not working on an IT-related job neither. But they have the talent. They are the undiscovered. The forbidden. They are one of the victims of misfortune events. They are not qualified technically but when it comes to skill and talent… they are one that morpheus and trinity is looking for.

The Sons of Blaise Pascal – They are good as the The Elite. They are also the best. They are the geeks. Spending more time in front of the computer screen than sleeping. They are workaholics. They are active in forums and online communities. They take their job at home. They see their job as an Obra Maestra where computer programming is their art. They are the nerds.

The Back Street Boys – These guys are the one who is taking advantage of their looks and achieved education. They are partially good. These are the people you can see at the café near the office. They have the good interpersonal skill rather than coding skills. They have the quickest promotion due to their “pa-cuteness” and boss-to-employee relations. They are friendly. They are the ones to be seen most by our bosses. Where the competition at the company is not on programming performance anymore.

The Oldies But Goodies Programmer – These veterans are well known for the witnesses of the computer evolution. From 3.1 to Vista, lotus to excel, VB1 to VBNET, monkey to human. They are the “Kuya” among the group. They work hard for their family. They are very supportive. They separate boys from men. They earn respect due to their ancient knowledge.

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