1. Being a father is a privilege. Having 18 kids is a greater one.
2. Living long enough to see your grandkids is the greatest.
3. “Hahawakan ko yung kamay, pag binigay, eh di okay. Pag inalis, eh di hindi okay. Pero pag inalis nang dahan-dahan, pakipot pa yun.”
4. His former screen name: Golay.
5. If there’s a Daddy-O, there’s a Baby-O.
6. Playing a transvestite in your 70s: precious.
7. Sons playing transvestites in the same film: priceless.
8. Doing gay roles while being a ladies’ man in real life: amazing.
9. “Hindi ako masyadong nagdaramdam maski siraan mo ako. Mas masasaktan pa ako pag anak ko ang sinisiraan mo o asawa ko.”
10. Parody films are the best kind of comedy in the 60s.
11. “Kung uukol, talagang bubukol. Masagwa kung lalakarin mo.”
12. “Problema ay may remedy, basta’t may konting comedy.”
13. “Sa mga anak kong babae ngayon, labasan nang labasan. Ang sinasabi ko lang, “Just don’t get pregnant.” Hindi ko puwedeng sabihing wag silang makipagtalik.”
14. “Kumapit ka, kumapit ka, kung ayaw mong magkabukol.”
15. “Basta’t sa iyong paghahain, huwag kalimutan ang lampin.”
16. Always act like an antipatiko when Bernardo Bernardo is around.
17. You can always turn your underdog looks into a money-making comedy empire.
18. He doesn’t like being called a “king”.
19. The funniest sitcoms can stand the test of time, even Martial Law.
20. It’s his honor as a comedian to be insulted by Panchito.
21. It’s Panchito’s honor as a comedian to be insulted by Dolphy.
22. It’s any comedian’s honor to be insulted by Dolphy and Panchito.
23. Doing 39 films in the 50s alone ain’t nothin’ but a thing.
24. Doing 82 films in the 60s alone ain’t nothin’ but a thing.
25. Doing 95 films in the decades that followed ain’t nothin’ but a thing.
26. Nicardo de Carpio is more charismatic than Leonardo Dicaprio.
27. Kevin Cosme is more honorable than Kevin Costner.
28. “Six wives and not married ha. Hanggang ngayon single pa rin ako!”
29. He is the consummate father and husband on television.
30. He is the consummate homosexual in the silver screen.
31. Appearing as Facifica Falayfay in 23 of his films ain’t nothin’ but a thing.
32. Homes found in Da Riles and Da Airport are the most fun.
33. “Nagtatrabaho pa ako, hindi dahil kailangan—ayoko lang talaga ng walang ginagawa.”
34. He says of daughter Zia Quizon: “Hindi ako nagulat na nagka-interes din ang batang ’yan na mag-artista. Maliit pa iyan, kabatuhan na ni Vandolf.”
35. If you have worked both with Fernando Poe Sr. and Moymoy Palaboy, you totally stood the test of time.
36. He was always late during family rosary time.
37. If you woo Zsa-Zsa Padilla in your 60s, you must be doing something right.
38. Shoe-shining during World War II ain’t nothin’ but a thing.
39. “Sa partehan, walang lamangan. Tatlo ang sayo, siyam ang sa akin.”
40. He is neighbors with Freddie Webb. They both have a son who once went to Bilibid.
41. “Nguso’t ilong mo’y ay tihaya, parang pandesal na maga!”
42. Translating Tagalog songs to English is the right way to serenade a lady.
43. Tap dancing can pay the bills. In dollars.
44. After a long, horrendous day there’s nothing better than a glass of Banayad Whisky.
45. “Pag sikat na sikat ka pa, loyal ang mga tao sa iyo dahil you can give them jobs, or kayang-kaya mo pang mag-abot. Pagdating mo sa ganitong punto, loyal na lang ang mga tao sa iyo, kasi, kumbaga, tingin nila, legend ka na.”
46. “Dapat walang katapusan ang pag-aaral kung papano mo mapapaligaya ang tao.”
47. “Kapag nagbigay ka, ang balik sa iyo dalawa.”
48. He claims to be the first Japayuki, dancing for the Japanese during the war.
49. “Ang mga magaling sa comedy, malalim ang kiliti. Hindi mahiram patawanin.”
50. Zsa Zsa believes he is going to outlive everyone.
51. “Nanliligaw ako noon sa patingin-tingin lang.”
52. “Sa showbiz, ang pinaka-mahirap ay mapasok ka sa inner circle ng mga artista.”
53. His talent fee in the 50s: “dalawang pisetas bawat pelikula.”
54. His gigs as a dancer paved the way for his introduction to comedy.
55. A good comedy flick should have a sing and dance segment.
56. He disliked working for the Japanese out of fear that they might “Judo” him.
57. He didn’t do it all by himself.
58. “Nambabae ako nang nambabae. Kumalma din naman ako with age.”
59. “Si Vic Sotto, tahimik ‘yan…pero mapanganib!”
60. Slapstick humor still sells when you’re in your 80s.
61. Actually, when you’re in your 80s, anything you do or say becomes funny.
62. Due to his wide collection of shoes, his grandkids refer to his closet as “shopping mall”.
63. “Ang babaeng walang balakang.”
64. “Mag-ootsenta’y tres na naman ako. Isang kindat pa, dalawa, magnonobenta. Natural, hindi na malakas ang resistensiya ko. Hikain ako no’ng bata, nanigarilyo pa ako, eto ngayon ang napala ko: emphysemang maganda.”
65. “Kung maibabalik ko lang ang panahon, ang unang gagawin ko, hindi ako maninigarilyo. E, nagsimula ako, panahon pa ng Hapon.”
66. He has a penchant for child acting prodigies, from Maricel Soriano to Serena Dalrymple.
67. “Parang nakokornihan sila sa mga hindi terminal na sakit. Ba’t ba kasi ako minamadali, e, sa finish line din naman ang ending nating lahat?”
68. “Hindi kasi ako, ano na nga iyon? Techie, ayun. Hindi ako marunong mag-Facebook na ganyan. Kaysa mamaga ang puwet ko sa maghapong TV araw-araw, magtrabaho na lang.”
69. Comedians work well with action stars – Dolphy was very close to Paquito Diaz.
70. “Sa maniwala kayo o hindi, nagsimulang ang hanap ko sa relasyon, tulad sana ng sa Papang at Mamang. Ang maging steady lang sa isang asawa.”
71. “Lakers fan ako. Sayang, hindi sila naka-‘three-peat.”
72. He wouldn’t mind a National Artist Award or a “National Arthritis Award”. Either one is fine.
73. “Some still go out of their way to show respect. Si Vic Sotto, mabait talaga iyon. Tony Tuviera. Si Willie, tumatawag, humihingi ng advice.”
74. “Ayaw ko nang mag-club-club o mag-bar-bar. Dun dumami yung asawa ko eh!”
75. “Ako naman eh isang kahig isang tuka rin, hindi naman ako lehitimong mayaman.”
76. “First time ko, 13 pa lang ako nun. One time, ginapang ako ng isang hostess. Noong araw pagdating nang alas-nuebe, dapat hindi ka na lalagi sa labas dahil baka todasin ka ng Hapon. Kaya inabot ako dun sa kaibigan ko. Ginapang ako nung babae eh, may edad sa akin. Pinakialaman niya ako. Eh ang sarap pala!”
77. "Pito-pito, walo-walo, alis na ang buto-buto."
78. “Dito lang ako sa bahay, kung minsan nakikipag-tong-its ako sa mga drivers, ganoon.”
79. His ultimate crush is Elizabeth Taylor.
80. “Mayro’n na nga akong kabaong. Bronze. No’n ko pa kinuha.”
81. He believes in heaven and hell. He even jokes that some of his friends are in hell.
82. “Ang paninigarilyo, naging pampaalis ko ng tensiyon, pag meron akong eksenang hindi ko malaman kung paano ko gagawin, o pang-distansiya muna sa mga gustong makipag-usap na di ko feel kausapin.”
83. “Masasabi kong complete na ang nangyari sa buhay ko. Wala na akong hihilingin pa kay Lord, sobra na yung biyaya at tagumpay na ipinagkaloob niya sa akin, eh. Dagdag na lang ang hinihingi ko, bonus na lang.”
